What are your dreams?

 As adults do you still dream of what you want to do in your life or have you forgot these? As a young girl maybe you had a dream of being a Princess and you would act like a princess by getting all dressed up and living the life of a princess. You felt how good it was to just be something you wanted to be… You loved the play acting and the passion it gave you! Do you remember your dreams? Unfortunately as you get older you lose sight of these dreams you get involved in the mundane chore of living your life, you get caught up in the need to earn money, get a house, have a family and these are good and important things but what you need to explore is are these your top values is this what you really want? You are sometimes a bit like a ship on the sea without a rudder and you just get moved around by the tide of life and you end up not really honor yourselves by holding your dreams as your top value? What do I mean by this? When you are not looking at your values and your priorities you are just existing and not living.

 To achieve your dreams you need to look at your values and beliefs and see if they are in congruence with your dreams, to achieve your dreams you need to set goals and focus on these. Then there is nothing stopping you except your inactions in achieving your goals and dreams.

 I feel dreams are just goals that need to be acted on. In past articles I have spoken about the importance of your thoughts, to look at your values, beliefs and self limiting beliefs so the next step is to set goals that you can action. Once goals are set and you focus on these the opportunities for you to make changes will be noticed.

 Your values are based in your beliefs. Remember your thoughts become your beliefs and your beliefs become your actions. So to achieve your dreams and set your goals you need to check what are your top values and this is then the base of your goals.

 So the next step is to set your goals

 How many of you make New Year’s resolutions?

 Do they work?

More often than not we write a list of things that we want to change in the New Year and a few weeks later they are forgotten or we have not been able to keep them.

 Any change that needs to be made requires action, commitment and focus.

 So instead of making New Year resolutions, what you need to do is set goals.

 What is the difference between setting a goal and making a resolution? In essence they are the same thing but the difference is when setting goals, you set them with a specific action in mind, you set a timescale and you have an end result in mind.

 In Brief what do I mean by this?

 Goals need to be planed properly. I like to use the SMART acronym but there are others

 It is important to have goals as these help to give you direction and focus. It helps you prioritise and make changes. It also helps you to move towards the fulfilling life that you want.

 So before we set goals, I would like to define what a goal is? A goal is a statement of intent, correctly formed, made with absolute commitment and followed through with daily action with an end date in mind. Another important thing to remember is when you think of the end date is to think of what represents to you the achievement of your goal, by visualising this achievement you remain focused and will feel exhilarated at meeting your goal. Think of an example your goal is to go to Spain on holiday. What would represent to you the achievement of this? Would it be packing the suitcase for the holiday? Getting off the plane in Spain? Walking into your hotel room etc. if you visualise this it helps you stay focused and helps motivate you towards your dream.

 What does the acronym SMART mean?

S – Specific, significant, stretching – Well defined and clear

M – Measurable, meaningful, motivational – Is the goal obtainable?

A – Achievable, acceptable, action-oriented – Can it be done. – This is the how.

R – Realistic, relevant, reasonable, rewarding, results-oriented -Within the availability of resources and knowledge

T – time-based, timely, tangible, tractable -Enough time to achieve.

So using this you can start to set your goals.

 To be motivated and achieve your goals you need to focus. There are a couple of ways you can focus and therefore action your goals.

 Here are a few ways to focus. 

• 1. Use a vision Board or Book
• 2. Review the goals every day. Break down large tasks into smaller tasks. Use a daily to-do-list.
• 3. Visualise your goal and be passionate about it.
• 4. Use a daily journal or an ideas book
• 5. Once you are focused the opportunities will be noticed, take the opportunities when they come to you.
• 6. If the goal is not too personal tell as many people about your goal and what you want to achieve, it keeps the passion and motivation alive.
• 7. Seek help from experts, learn and read as much as you can.
• 8. Organise yourself well and have a defined plan – remember your plan may change; it is not set in stone.
• 9. Keep yourself healthy and focused by having a balanced diet, doing exercise and getting enough sleep.
• 10. Do a daily De-stress routine by taking some quiet time to think, focus, plan and visualise what you want to achieve.

What are Values?

Let’s discuss a bit about your values. What is the difference between values and beliefs and how does this affect our behaviour.

You may ask yourself why this is so important. Knowing what your top values are saves you time, effort and energy. It is also important because if you do not have a clear understanding of your values, beliefs and motivations, you can’t make informed decisions about your future. As you seek changes in your life and you move towards a more fulfilling life which will encompass your life purpose and goals, your Values need to be congruent with your life purpose and goals otherwise you will always feel that you are at odds with your True Self (Your Soul).

Your values impact on every aspect of your lives:

1. Your Values influence your actions, behaviour and the decisions you make.
2. Values help you to prioritise your life.
3. Your goals and life purpose are grounded in your Values.

You need to decide what values are most important to you. Then live by them.

Living by your values helps you to accomplish your goals and dreams and helps you lead and influence others.

So what are values?

Values are traits and qualities that represent your highest priorities and deeply held driving forces, it is what motivates you and gets you out of bed every morning.

Why is it important that you identify your Values?

The Values you hold are a combination of influences from your parents, family, religious beliefs, friends, education and even what you read.

For you to become a more efficient person you need to recognise these influences, identify and develop a clear, concise and meaningful set of Values/Beliefs.

What is the difference between a Value and a Belief?

To help you a bit more, I want to give you some definitions of values and beliefs that might help you understand the difference. See what resonates with you so that you can understand the difference.

• Beliefs are what your values are based on. For example if you strongly support Pro-Life this is then your Value. What your Value is based on, is your Belief (which could be one of many) that it is not right to kill a human being. Thus your belief determines what you deem valuable.
• When you Value something you give importance to a thing or idea. Beliefs are things that you think are true.
• Values are things that you think are valuable. Beliefs are things that you think are true.

Therefore beliefs are the assumptions you make about yourself and others in the world. Beliefs are about how you think things really are. Beliefs tend to be deep set and your values stem from your beliefs.

Values are about how you think things ought to be or people ought to behave, especially in terms of qualities such as honesty, integrity and openness which when people are asked what are their values tend to be the main values. (These are also known as universal values)

Another definition that is useful at this time to note is attitude.

Attitudes are the established ways of responding to people and situations that you have learned, based on the Beliefs, Values and Assumptions you hold. How you respond to situation and your behaviour can reflect your attitude.

So how do I go about finding my values?

First find a quiet place, have a pen and paper and write down your values, some examples of values are: Integrity, service, responsibility, equality, respect, self improvement, education or learning, loyalty, Security, Challenge this is just a small example of values that people hold.

Look at the values you have written down, some may be ‘Universal values’ e.g. Honesty

Out of the others select your top 10 and rank them according to importance. This is not set in stone and you may find as you work with these values their importance to you will change. Also remember that if you feel that one or more of the ‘universal values’ are your top value then included when you prioritise your values.

Now look at the list you have in front of you. Do you think these values drive you? Is this what gets you out of bed in the morning? If not relook at this and see what it is that drives you.

“You are what you think you are most of the time”

Your thoughts act as the ‘orders’ that move from the Conscious to the Subconscious mind. Your thoughts come in the form of autosuggestions which simply put are a way you talk to yourself, either verbally or internally. When you, for example, tell yourself ‘I’m fit and beautiful’ you are issuing an ‘order’ for your Subconscious mind to act upon.

 If your thoughts are constantly negative would your life be positive? No it would not be. This is the ‘law of attraction’ in its simplest and most basic form, if you are constantly seeing the glass as half empty will it not be half empty in reality? 

 So what do we do about this? Well for one thing you need to be aware of your thoughts, you have to be aware of what you talk about constantly, as your thoughts and speech reflect your focus and your focus reflects your reality.

So what can you do about attracting the life you want?

There are a few steps to follow to get you started on this journey:

 Step 1:

Be aware of your thoughts start watching your thoughts, this is a conscious effort that needs to be made to become aware of the thoughts as they enter your mind and are processed into actions and behaviour.

Step 2:

How to identify negative thoughts. Firstly you need to do an exercise to identify what positive and negative thoughts you process.
So you need to create a logbook of your thoughts. As all these conscious thoughts enter your mind you need to jot them down. Next you need to look at these thoughts and ask yourself a few questions: Is this a positive or negative thought; what is the purpose of this thought? Did it serve any purpose? Is it justified or unjustified? This will help you identify your thought patterns. It also helps you see how often you have negative thoughts. If it is the same thought over and over again? Is there a circumstance or trigger that brings in the negative thoughts?

Step 3:

Negative thoughts or Self limiting thoughts. Now you have identified, how often these thoughts appear, what the thoughts are and why you believe these thoughts you can work towards getting rid of these negative thoughts, so that you can focus in a positive way on your future. Remember that these negative or Self-limiting beliefs are those things you believe about yourself that place limitations on your abilities and therefore your future.

Step 4:

Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Your thoughts both negative and positive become your beliefs. If these negative thoughts are reinforced continuously they become a negative belief. You need to challenge the negative thoughts every time they rear their head. You must consciously reject any thought or suggestion that you are limited in any way. There is nothing you cannot do. You simply need to find the way and follow it, to its conclusion. When self-limiting thoughts are starved of attention, they wither and die. Whatever you give attention to magnifies: whatever you do not attend to shrivels up and dies. So give attention to the positive thoughts, challenge and change the negative thoughts. Once you have identified a negative thought pattern you need to change this to a positive thought pattern and it will therefore become a positive belief. This can be done using the technique of positive affirmations. In very brief terms this is where you change a negative statement into a positive statement for example ‘I can’t afford to spend money on travelling, study nice clothes etc.’ try change this to a positive affirmation ‘My income is constantly increasing. Money flows easily into life. There is always more than enough.’ You need to say this twice a day for 28 days and your negative thoughts on money will now become a positive belief in money.

 Step 5:

Finally you need to reinforce the positive changes in your life. This can be done in a few ways; the best way is to set goals so you can focus on the future you want. You can also reinforce your new thought patterns by the use of images and written words. Also look at the information that you receive if you are continuously bombarded with negative images, words and people you will not be able to remain focused on the positive changes you want to make, so cut down this exposure look for positive reading material and meet new like minded people through clubs and groups. Look for the glass that is half full in every thought and belief that you are exposed to.

‘You are the key to your success. Coaching is the Catalyst to unlock the door’

I often get asked what Life Coaching is. So I thought I would just write a short list of some of the questions you maybe asking yourself.

 Life Coaching

Life Coaching is an interactive process where a qualified coach will help an individual to develop and to make changes in their lives.
Life Coaches will work with the client on all areas of their lives. As a result of this coaching process the clients can set better goals, they can learn to take positive action in their lives and make better and more informed decisions.
Professional Life Coaches are trained to listen and observe and to customise their approach to the individual client’s needs. Through this process the clients will choose their own solutions and strategies.
A Coach believes that all clients have an inherent solution to all their own problems and complexities. The coach’s job is to bring these inherent solutions to the attention of the client and to then support the client to enhance the skills, resources and creativity that the client already has. The process is not one of giving advice and mentoring, it is to help the client to look deep within their own resources and choose their own solutions. A Life Coach is there to give feedback and an objective perspective. The client is responsible for taking the steps to produce the results he or she desires.

Is the Life Coaching Process Confidential?

Yes, a Life Coach will adhere to a code of conduct (for more details check http://www.lbcai.ie/codeofethics.php). All information is completely confidential and will not be discussed outside of the sessions without expressed permission from the client.

Why do I need to see a Life Coach?

There is an old saying that you can’t see the forest for the trees. This is what happens in our lives we get so bogged down doing what we always do that we don’t look further than the rut that we are currently in, yet there is a growing dissatisfaction and a feeling of not achieving our goals. This is when a life coach can help you, as an outsider they can help you make the changes but still maintain an objective perspective.

Can everyone benefit from Coaching?

Yes you can. When there is a willingness to try and do something or make changes in your life, going to see a life coach is a wonderful way of getting yourself kick started. Do you sometimes feel that there is something wrong or not quite the way you want it but you are not too sure who to talk to? As an impartial person a Life Coach can help you sort through the things that are worrying you and help you see what is important and help you to take some action to make those simple changes.

How long would I need to see a Life Coach for?

In general the Life Coach will suggest a 1 hour session, once a week for 4-6 weeks. At times the Life Coach, with agreement of the client, might suggest that some actions be done between the sessions to get the full benefit of the Coaching but this would not be time consuming.

A coach is someone who tells you what you
don’t want to hear, who has you see what you
don’t want to see, so you can be who you have
always known you could be.”
~Tom Landry

In this time of uncertainty, there are positive and creative ways to help you look towards a positive future, and create your life as you want it to be. By setting personal and positive goals, you can achieve the life you want.

Do you often wonder why you bother to make New Year resolutions? As they are forgot within a short period of time. Do you get angry at yourself for not achieving these simple changes? Goals, like resolutions, can be easily forgotten and put aside if you make them with no actual planning and substance. A goal, like a resolution must be made as a positive statement of intent; this must be made with absolute commitment and followed through with daily actions and with an end date in mind.

If you set goals by utilising this method, it will help you focus on your future. Through focusing on where you want to go and what you want to achieve, you will see the opportunities to Move Forward. Opportunities are always there, you are sometimes just too busy being busy, and you do not recognise them. If you focus on your goals and what you want to achieve, you will begin to recognise them and be able to take up the challenge and achieve the most amazing things.

However, no goal is worth the paper it is written on if you do not take up the challenge with actions. Always remember, if an opportunity is missed, there will be others but if you keep ignoring them all the time, they will eventually run out. So you need to grasp them and Move Forward.

Setting goals will help you focus on the intended outcome and using various tools including; how to set goals that can be achieved and how to focus using a Vision Board. With this knowledge and your actions, you will achieve your goals and live the life you want to live. These workshops and courses will give you the tools to continuously focus and refocus on you future, so you can gain the momentum and move forward.

If you would like to know more about how to set these goals and make the changes in your life please contact me or look at the workshop or course page for more details on when the next workshop or course will be run.